Here I am
again
staring at the wall
again
woundrin where I go from here
what happens
now we're almost done
they took you from me
and put you at lemonaide
so Im standing here alone
woundrin how Ill cope
being so alone
just looking around
it looks so emptywill people see just me
or will they see who they want me to be
all they see is an employee
not a person who is in her last day of her job

Safe
she's out there somewhere
and she's safe
she can't be dead
otherwise I'd know

I'd know
'cause my gut tells me she is alive
and safe
somewhere out there
in this big bright beautiful world
that was too big
and not bright and beautiful
when he took her from me

someday I'll find her
and we'll be happy
and the world will be big
bright and beautiful
it'll be the world it was
before she disapeared into it
on the darkest day of my life

I'll never give up on her
'cause my gut tells me
she's here somewhere
and I'll see her again
I just know it

I'd love to share my heart
to confess the things yearn
but that's not how it works
not with who I am
some call me a freak
others call me strange
but I'm me
yes, I'm me
I may be different
I may seem strange to you
but this is who I am
To me you're strange
but you aren't a freak
no your not a freak
you're just different from me
there's always more to the story that you see
I might not have my picture perfect, happy ending
but I'm sure it'll be here someday
someday I'll confess my heart; confess the things I yearn
and someday I'll be able to say
"I Love You"
I'll say
I love you
and I really do
there's so much more to my story
there's that perfect, and happy ending
its out there somewhere
in this big bright beautiful world
don't we deserve it all
don't we deserve it all?

New series of blogs

I'm starting a new series of blogs here. They are going to be the lyrics/poems I write or might find laying around my room. There's something about writing them then sharing them that makes the work I put into these things that makes sharing them worthwile.

My obcessions...

I really wanted to bring someting up in this blog that has plauged me since I was a kid. I literally go through stages of obcessions. I wanted to make a list of some of my more recent obcessions...
1.Julie Andrews
2. writing
3. RENT (Well this is an obcession that's been with me since about 2000)
4. Disney Movies (this one comes and goes)
5. Wicked (This ones been with me since fall 2006)
6. Stephanie J Block
7. Tracie Thoms
8. Sutton Foster
9. Youtube
10. BlogTV
11. Twitter
12. Facebook
13. Myspace
14. Srek the Musical (I have a feeling that this one will be with me for years)

So that's just the short list...

As for my obcession with Shrek the musical, I love the song "Who I'd Be". As I was listening to this song one day earlier this week, I came up with the lyrics to a song I'm working on the music for now. Here are thos lyrics:

Who would I be
if I could be anyone
would there be
that happy ending
that perfect, happy ending
or would there be
more to do
more to be
more to see
I guess I'd be
that person I can feel
inside me
hiding inside me
theres a big
and bright beautiful world
out there
but I can't quite reach it
there's that perfect
and happy
ending
that I deserve
but it's out of reach
just past my fingertips
and when I finally make it
I'll see that bright beautiful world
and I'll get that great
perfect beautiful ending
hopefully

Biker gangs

This past friday (3/13/09) a couple friends and I wanted to do something fun. So, we created our own biker gang. We don't ride motercycles, so this our version of a biker gang is one that uses human powered bikes. Naturally we took a few pictures of ourselves around town. But before we even considered going anywhere, we had to make ourselves armbands. As we were creating these masterpeices, we decided to come up with a catchy slogan. What did we come up with you ask? We came up with the following slogan:

Death by hardcore passion

Where have I been?

I really don't know. I seem to have found myself completley disconected from the internet last week, and finally this week got back on to check my many accounts from Facebook to Myspace to Youtube to my e-mail. Did I mention I came down with a cold late yesterday; and thankfully it came only after my dental cleaning. Did I mention I had someone ask me out????? I guess I really should adress what I've been up too.

1. Bell choir--what fun!! Several weeks ago, and well after the holidays, we had our holiday party. It was quite a bit of fun just hanging out with a bunch of friends the night before the super bowl.

2. Dental cleaning--I originally had it schedualed for Febuary 19, but the dentists office had to re-schedual on me since the hygenist couldn't be there on the 19th. So I had my teeth cleaned yesterday morning.

3. Church Nursery--I work roughly two sunday mornings a month, Tuesday night (a financial class), and Wensdays during Lent for the services.

4. Yes someone asked me out yesterday. Let's just say that he didn't know, and still doesn't know I'm gay. Kind of sad actually...I felt so bad for saying no, but I really didn't want to lie about who I am. This particular guy seemed nice, and probobly would be the kind of guy I would fall for if I wasn't gay.

5. Writting writting writtting....see www.thatgirliknew.blogspot.com for details of what I've been working on writing latley.

6. Keeping up my deviant art site...my user name there is ppmusic2010.