Me

Here I am
take me for what I am
don't tell what
or who
to be
just let me be me

last night I dreamed of you
dreamed of your touch
that I felt yesterday
and I'm finding myself
more in love everyday
that passes by

Everytime I see you
I can remember why
I fell for you
that first time
so here I am
being who I am
and finally being able
to relax into it

Forbiden

I never thought
I'd be here today
watching people walk by
selling dippin dots
to any baseball fans
yet here I am
I'm watching people
trying to decide
which people I find
the most attractive
and it seems so strange
yet I know it's not
this can't be completley weird
and I never thought I'd feel this way
as I wait for gates to open
wait for a rush of fans
yet here I am
watching you walk along
and interact with all the staff
so here I am
so in love
with someone that I can't
well shouldn't
love

As I look out my window
I can see all this green
and i wounder where this life of mine
is going
i wounder where you are
I wounder what you're doing now

And all I know
is that you're out there
doing something that I will never know
and I'm sitting here
staring out my window
questioning who I am
what I'm supposed to do
with my life

Tonight I'll see you again
tonight we'll work together again
and I'll remember why
I fell in love with you
and I'll remember why we can't be together
maybe life is stranger
than I ever thought it could be


Maybe my life is crazy
maybe I am crazy
but who says I can't enjoy my life
why should I follow the crowds
I'll do my own thing
I'll live my own crazy life
and maybe I'll enjoy it
yes I'll enjoy it
I'll enjoy my life
enjoy being me!

Crazyness

I've been rather busy latley with trying to find a job; working for the loons; working in my church's nursery, sleeping, writing my novel, and writing my musical. This past weekend my mom's parents were here to visit saturday and sunday, so I didn't have time to do a whole lot on my own. Recently I started teaching myself ASL (American Sign Language), and have learned a few signs every day. Currently my vocabularly inludes:

-Cracker
-you
-Animal
-fish
-what
-do
-want
-I
-truck

I know it's not a lot, but the words I have been learning are ones I'll be able to use when I work in my church's nursery if and when we get a deaf child. Who knows; it could be helpful someday. I have a post in my lyrics/poems series of blogs coming up later this afternoon or early tomarrow.

Picture perfect post

It's time for me to share the pictures I've captured since the beggining of April. These are just a sampling of them all, but if you go to http://ppmusic2010.deviantart.com/ you can see the rest of the pictures from my Nikon Coolpix digital camera.

That's Cooper from the church I go too.

This next picture is one of my all time favorites.

"Watching you"

So these lyrics I literally just wrote in the last three minutes. I'm titling it "Watching You"...hopefully I can find some time to write the music and record it to post here. I want to share the back story of this one after I show you the lyrics.

I'm watching you
do your thing
but from a distance
I can't watch you close up
'cause then you'd know how I feel
about you
and I'm not quite ready for that
but someday I will tell you
how I feel about you

I love you
with all my heart
and I look every game
'cause you're the light of my world
you make me smile
everytime I see you
even from a distance
I love you
with all my heart

And when you leave me a message
I save it
and listen to it
over and over
again and again
'cause your voice makes me smile

And hearing your voice
seeing your around the stadium
makes me happy
makes me smile
'cause I love you so much
I wish you were here next to me
I wish I could hold you forever
I wish you were mine forever

Someday you'll be mine
someday I'll be yours
someday
today
I get to sit here
listening to your voice on my answering machine
I wait for the next homestand
so I can see you again
someday Ill say I love you

Here's the back stoy for everyone and anyone who might be reading. As some of you may well know, I am working for the great lakes Loons (www.loons.com) in food service. You also might know that I am gay/lesbian (whichever term you prefer.). This song is based off of something I've been feeling for one of the members of the front office staff. I've know this particular person for over a year now, and can remember a time when I was still in the closet and finding myself attracted to her. Since that time I have come out of the closet to most everybody I know, except for this person that I wrote this about.

Nim's Island

In this afternoons blog-i'm going deviate a little from my series of blogs (poems and song lyrics) to blog a bit about the movie Nims Island. I literally just finished watching it, and must say that it was great! Part of the reason it was so good was Jodie Foster, Abigal Breslin and Gerard Butler...all three of whom and fans of. It was well done over all--the beauty of it all was amazing. I particularly love the ending; you really have no idea what happens to all three (Alex, Nim, and Jack).

As a kid I always loved watching a good movie. This is still true of me today. But today, I have much more of a range of a like of movies. I've found drama, comedy, musicals, kids movies, and animations are all great. I also have found a couple foriegn films I like. The thing about my movie obcession since March 2007 is that I actually study what makes these films/movies I watch so good and sometimes so auful that way. As you may know from reading eaither this blog, or reading www.thatgirliknew.blogspot.com I have written two screenplays, am working on a novel, and am working on writing a stage musical. So watching movies both good and bad have helped me greatly to figure what parts of the story to include in the two screenplays I've written.