"I've waited for the right time
that faight would be on my side...
falling in love
so foolishly
I'm tired of waiting...
just take the first step...
my simple request
and feight will seal the rest." "My Simple Request"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKMvIzLuwoA&feature=quicklist
This song is brilliantly written...and yes I chose only exerpts of it leaving out the funniest parts so you really have to watch the video to get an idea of how great this song is. But I chose just exerpts of it for a reason. As you may know (if you've been a frequent reader of this blog) that I am gay/lesbian depending on which you prefer to use. Growing up I knew that I was different, but I never really knew how to explain it or that there was a word such as lesbian/gay that described me to a tea. When it finally hit me that I am gay things really began to fall into place for me. So many of the feelings I had had were finally making sense; so naturally things began coming together. The part of the above quote about falling in love foolishly is so great. It really does bring out an element of my life that seems to happen over and over. There are so many people I've found myself attracted to that I simply can't have because they are straight (aka difference in sexuality!) so quite often (in fact most of the time when I do fall in love) I fall in love quite foolishly.
"What you don't know
is that I'd do anything for you
what you don't know is that
I'd do anything for you
Love me love me not
counting petals on the floor
stop being so afraid
to let our love become more
take me take me in
I won't let you down
I'm not running
I'm not leaving today...
Love me love me not
counting petals on the floor
stop being so afraid of letting our love become more
take me take me in
I won't let you down
I'm not running
I'm not leaving
I'm not hiding...
I'm not wanting anybody else today but you
just you" "Love me Love me not"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfjB0y2J5ss&feature=quicklist
This quote contains so much good advice for people at my age. So many people are so afraid of letting their love become more. For me it's something I do have to work at. So often I try to control my love knowing that it's possible that somebody I've fallen in love with might not be gay. I sometimes have to keep myself from running or hiding from who I am and who I have fallen in love with. The very beggining of the quote really gets me. I'd do just about anything for my friends; and I'm sure I'd do just about anything for somebody that I fall in love with and who falls in love with me.
Friday, July 31, 2009
"I've got a hunger burning inside me
can not be denied...
that spark of creation...
spark of creation
is blazing through my blood...
the first inspiration
the spark of creation
I see a mountain
and I want to climb it
I see a river
and I'm utterly sure
where there was nothing
let there be someting
someting made by me
there are things waiting me to invent them...
I am an echo of
let there be a spark of creation
buring bright within me
a spark of creation
won't let me rest at all
until i discover
or build or uncover
a thing I can call my celebration
a spark of creation
a spark of creation
may it burn forever
a spark of creation...
when your burn with a imagination
sooner or later your feeling the fire
get higher and higher
the spark of creation" "Spark of Creation"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vk-da4405o0&feature=quicklist
"...The only demons
are all in my mind
was it his voice
was it his smile
I haven't felt so wonderful in quite a while
all of this time there was just me
maybe he's a preview of how good my life can be
I'm not alone
someones freed me from this lonely tower
someones by my side as I face the unknown
I'm not alone...
I'm not alone anymore
where there was one
now there are two
that's the kind of magic only love can do...
I can move a mountain now with just a single touch
I'm not alone
someones freed me from this lonely tower
someones by my side
as I face the unknown
I'm not alone...
I'm not alone anymore
I keep floating two feet off the ground
I forget my fears when he's around...
somebodys by my side as I face the unknown
I'm not alone...
I'm not alone
anymore" "I'm not Alone"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uedIMUuosnw&feature=quicklist
The above quotes are truley beautiful. The first quote says someting to the extent of wanting to move mountains when you see one...I understand that feeling. During late March 2007, I saw a mountain I wanted to move. That mountain became my two screenplays. I originally wanted to move anyone that might come across or read the first screenplay. It turned out that it moved how I view the world, and I acheived what I wanted. In that same quote there is something about a my celebration. In a way that first screenplay became my celebration of who I have become during the years, and a way of life that so many live, and so many people know so little about.
The second quote really gets me. For me, this would make so much more sense if you changed the word he or his to her or she. In so many ways there have been several people that did what that second quote says...One was Pat Gahn, anouther was Katie from the Loons, a third was Marj from the Loons, and a fourth that did it for me was Alyson from the Loons. In a way Pat freed me from the tower I was living in for so many years, and Marj, Katie, and Alyson has been at my side.
I should be posting anouther post later tonight (after I get this one up and going.) with some other things that I want to blog about, but that I feel belong in a different blog because of some things I want to write about it.
can not be denied...
that spark of creation...
spark of creation
is blazing through my blood...
the first inspiration
the spark of creation
I see a mountain
and I want to climb it
I see a river
and I'm utterly sure
where there was nothing
let there be someting
someting made by me
there are things waiting me to invent them...
I am an echo of
let there be a spark of creation
buring bright within me
a spark of creation
won't let me rest at all
until i discover
or build or uncover
a thing I can call my celebration
a spark of creation
a spark of creation
may it burn forever
a spark of creation...
when your burn with a imagination
sooner or later your feeling the fire
get higher and higher
the spark of creation" "Spark of Creation"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vk-da4405o0&feature=quicklist
"...The only demons
are all in my mind
was it his voice
was it his smile
I haven't felt so wonderful in quite a while
all of this time there was just me
maybe he's a preview of how good my life can be
I'm not alone
someones freed me from this lonely tower
someones by my side as I face the unknown
I'm not alone...
I'm not alone anymore
where there was one
now there are two
that's the kind of magic only love can do...
I can move a mountain now with just a single touch
I'm not alone
someones freed me from this lonely tower
someones by my side
as I face the unknown
I'm not alone...
I'm not alone anymore
I keep floating two feet off the ground
I forget my fears when he's around...
somebodys by my side as I face the unknown
I'm not alone...
I'm not alone
anymore" "I'm not Alone"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uedIMUuosnw&feature=quicklist
The above quotes are truley beautiful. The first quote says someting to the extent of wanting to move mountains when you see one...I understand that feeling. During late March 2007, I saw a mountain I wanted to move. That mountain became my two screenplays. I originally wanted to move anyone that might come across or read the first screenplay. It turned out that it moved how I view the world, and I acheived what I wanted. In that same quote there is something about a my celebration. In a way that first screenplay became my celebration of who I have become during the years, and a way of life that so many live, and so many people know so little about.
The second quote really gets me. For me, this would make so much more sense if you changed the word he or his to her or she. In so many ways there have been several people that did what that second quote says...One was Pat Gahn, anouther was Katie from the Loons, a third was Marj from the Loons, and a fourth that did it for me was Alyson from the Loons. In a way Pat freed me from the tower I was living in for so many years, and Marj, Katie, and Alyson has been at my side.
I should be posting anouther post later tonight (after I get this one up and going.) with some other things that I want to blog about, but that I feel belong in a different blog because of some things I want to write about it.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
part two
Yesterday I posted a short peice of something I had the idea for at work. Today I will post more of it, and once again a peice of it is based off of an idea I had at work yesterday, and a second peice of it based off of something I thought of tonight at work. Here I go!
Alyson isn't just a friend of Julia's, but also an arranger that helped Julia so much on her first solo album. It was that first solo album that Julia was doing a tour for now. As Julia got warmed up at that beat up grand piano on a stage in Midland, Michigan, Alyson scooted past Julia; and their eyes caught the others eyes. Alyson raised her eyebrows, and Julia couldn't help but smile. There was a mutual understanding in that raise of the eyebrows saying how chaotic things were, and yet how soothing it was to go through this routine of warming up and setting up with this touring band. Julia was wishing she could tell Alyson how much she loved her, and Alyson wished she could tell the world what she believed in and how wrong they were about who she is. Minutes passed, and they were ready for the concert. As they stood backstage, Alyson and Julia stood side by side silently. Alyson puts her hand on Julia's shoulder.
"You'll be fine." whispers Alyson
"I love you." replies Julia in a whisper.
Their eyes reconnect, and Julia walks out onto the stage to begin the show.
"Wow..." whispers Alyson to herself in surprise, "I never knew..."
The concert would be a hit amoungst the attendees. As everyone was standing, streching and walking out of the auditorium at the end of the show, no one realized what was about to happen backstage. The moment the final encore was over, Julia headed backstage to change into jeans and a T-Shirt as to be more comfortable on her way to the hotel. It was in the dressing room that Alyson awaitted Julia's arrival.
"Hey Alyson." says Julia
"Hey." replies Alyson, "You did great!"
"Thanks."
"I love you too."
Alyson isn't just a friend of Julia's, but also an arranger that helped Julia so much on her first solo album. It was that first solo album that Julia was doing a tour for now. As Julia got warmed up at that beat up grand piano on a stage in Midland, Michigan, Alyson scooted past Julia; and their eyes caught the others eyes. Alyson raised her eyebrows, and Julia couldn't help but smile. There was a mutual understanding in that raise of the eyebrows saying how chaotic things were, and yet how soothing it was to go through this routine of warming up and setting up with this touring band. Julia was wishing she could tell Alyson how much she loved her, and Alyson wished she could tell the world what she believed in and how wrong they were about who she is. Minutes passed, and they were ready for the concert. As they stood backstage, Alyson and Julia stood side by side silently. Alyson puts her hand on Julia's shoulder.
"You'll be fine." whispers Alyson
"I love you." replies Julia in a whisper.
Their eyes reconnect, and Julia walks out onto the stage to begin the show.
"Wow..." whispers Alyson to herself in surprise, "I never knew..."
The concert would be a hit amoungst the attendees. As everyone was standing, streching and walking out of the auditorium at the end of the show, no one realized what was about to happen backstage. The moment the final encore was over, Julia headed backstage to change into jeans and a T-Shirt as to be more comfortable on her way to the hotel. It was in the dressing room that Alyson awaitted Julia's arrival.
"Hey Alyson." says Julia
"Hey." replies Alyson, "You did great!"
"Thanks."
"I love you too."
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Tonight at work, I was standing there alone watching people and thinking. That was when I had an idea for a short story. This will be just the beggining of it, and I will (well hopefully will) post more blogs here with more of this story as it comes to me over the summer. Now I know my other blog is the one that I usually do the story stuff on, but I haven't posted here very often, so I thought this one could be my spifffy little blog here. Here I go!
As Julia stood there getting set up for the big concert, she began feeling a little stressed out; but that was normal. It was when she looked up from the piano that she was warming up at that she saw Alyson, who was looking her way. Alyson's look said it all-this was crazy, but the good crazy that really got you ready for a fun night.
"God I wish she knew how I feel" thinks Julia "I wish I could sing a song telling her I love her, proclaim it to the world without being rejected"
What Alyson had no idea about was the way Julia felt about her. Very few people knew that Julia is gay, and even though Alyson knew, she had no idea how much Julia loved her. Nobody really knew if Alyson was dating, and for that matter nobody really knew if she was straight or gay. The only thing Julia knew for sure was that Alyson was the women that she wanted to spend the rest of her life living with and loving with all of her heart.
As Julia stood there getting set up for the big concert, she began feeling a little stressed out; but that was normal. It was when she looked up from the piano that she was warming up at that she saw Alyson, who was looking her way. Alyson's look said it all-this was crazy, but the good crazy that really got you ready for a fun night.
"God I wish she knew how I feel" thinks Julia "I wish I could sing a song telling her I love her, proclaim it to the world without being rejected"
What Alyson had no idea about was the way Julia felt about her. Very few people knew that Julia is gay, and even though Alyson knew, she had no idea how much Julia loved her. Nobody really knew if Alyson was dating, and for that matter nobody really knew if she was straight or gay. The only thing Julia knew for sure was that Alyson was the women that she wanted to spend the rest of her life living with and loving with all of her heart.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Incompitent
I still seem to be incompitent at finding love...but thats just my life. I've been hard at work on my novel titled "X Marks the Spot". Go to www.thatgirliknew.blogspot.com for more information on how things are going with it.
Seeing how I am babysitting right now, and the kids are asleep, I am blogging. I got to thinking and it hit me just how profound something I wrote tonight for my novel is. I wrote "It is in loving that we learn to loose, and in loosing we love. And what happens when someone we love so dearly dies? We truley begin to understand how much they mean to the world, and to ourselves. Sometimes as we loose, and we in turn learn to love, we begin to appretiate ourselves more."
Just putting that out there for consideration.
Seeing how I am babysitting right now, and the kids are asleep, I am blogging. I got to thinking and it hit me just how profound something I wrote tonight for my novel is. I wrote "It is in loving that we learn to loose, and in loosing we love. And what happens when someone we love so dearly dies? We truley begin to understand how much they mean to the world, and to ourselves. Sometimes as we loose, and we in turn learn to love, we begin to appretiate ourselves more."
Just putting that out there for consideration.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Blood Donor
Hey blog people!
This is my first post in a while. Sorry about that. I've been concentrating more on my other blog (http://www.thatgirliknew.blogspot.com/), and on the novel and musical I have been writing. My other blog (click that link above to see it) is a lot of whats going on with that musical and novel. On to what I've been doing latley besides writing.
Work--
I'm working for a minor leauge baseball team called the great lakes loons (http://www.loons.com/) in food service. If you go to http://www.loons.com/ you can see our schedual and buy tickets, and see all kinds of other cool stuff. Tonights game will be my first night at the hand dipped ice cream, which I am quite excited about. I am also working in my church's nursery chasing kids around. The night before my 21 birthday I was working, and one of the kids drew me a cute picture that I have in my room.
Okay now to explain the title of this blog. I've been a blood donor for several years now. I highly sugguest it. Every pint of blood you donate can save up to three lives, which is brilliant. You can save up to three lives and only spend an hour of your time. The last time I donated I hit the 1 gallon mark! If you do decide to donate blood in your area, remember to drink LOTS of water beforehand and eat at least one healthy meal beforehand. It really will help. I've already drunk 1016 mL of water (thats just been since 8AM this morning). The more water you drink before donating blood the better, and you WILL spend a lot more time on the toliet that day.
I've got to get going to my other blog momentarly so that I can give that audience (which I'm sure is different than the audience of this blog) an update as to how some things are going. I'll let you all know how my blood donatation goes this morning.
<3
Erin
"Theres a fine fine line between a lover and a friend
theres a fine fine line between reality and pretend" Avenue Q
This is my first post in a while. Sorry about that. I've been concentrating more on my other blog (http://www.thatgirliknew.blogspot.com/), and on the novel and musical I have been writing. My other blog (click that link above to see it) is a lot of whats going on with that musical and novel. On to what I've been doing latley besides writing.
Work--
I'm working for a minor leauge baseball team called the great lakes loons (http://www.loons.com/) in food service. If you go to http://www.loons.com/ you can see our schedual and buy tickets, and see all kinds of other cool stuff. Tonights game will be my first night at the hand dipped ice cream, which I am quite excited about. I am also working in my church's nursery chasing kids around. The night before my 21 birthday I was working, and one of the kids drew me a cute picture that I have in my room.
Okay now to explain the title of this blog. I've been a blood donor for several years now. I highly sugguest it. Every pint of blood you donate can save up to three lives, which is brilliant. You can save up to three lives and only spend an hour of your time. The last time I donated I hit the 1 gallon mark! If you do decide to donate blood in your area, remember to drink LOTS of water beforehand and eat at least one healthy meal beforehand. It really will help. I've already drunk 1016 mL of water (thats just been since 8AM this morning). The more water you drink before donating blood the better, and you WILL spend a lot more time on the toliet that day.
I've got to get going to my other blog momentarly so that I can give that audience (which I'm sure is different than the audience of this blog) an update as to how some things are going. I'll let you all know how my blood donatation goes this morning.
<3
Erin
"Theres a fine fine line between a lover and a friend
theres a fine fine line between reality and pretend" Avenue Q
Friday, May 22, 2009
"ET"
Earlier in the week I was watching the movie "ET" for the first time since I was in elementary school (hint: I'm 21). Yesterday one of my friends (Leesy) and I were on a little picture adventure, and we got to talking about the movie. Basically Leesy and I can remember our first experiences with ET. Mine was actually and amazingly great experience. I loved ET to death in elementary school, and can clearly remember wanting to take him home. Now on to my latest experience with ET...
Watching it this time, I had this clear feeling of wanting to just keep him forever. As ET died, I just about started crying...I really wanted him to live at that moment, and of course I didn't remember the ending, so I had no hope until the unexpected happened. It's that last scene, when the space ship door closes, and the last thing you see of him is his lit up red heart. That really got me. In all honesty I actually cried at the end. That last scene reminds me of the love and friendship ET and Elliot have and had for each other. It also makes me think of so many other things.
Watching it this time, I had this clear feeling of wanting to just keep him forever. As ET died, I just about started crying...I really wanted him to live at that moment, and of course I didn't remember the ending, so I had no hope until the unexpected happened. It's that last scene, when the space ship door closes, and the last thing you see of him is his lit up red heart. That really got me. In all honesty I actually cried at the end. That last scene reminds me of the love and friendship ET and Elliot have and had for each other. It also makes me think of so many other things.
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