Friday, July 31, 2009

Love

"I've waited for the right time
that faight would be on my side...
falling in love
so foolishly
I'm tired of waiting...
just take the first step...
my simple request
and feight will seal the rest." "My Simple Request"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKMvIzLuwoA&feature=quicklist

This song is brilliantly written...and yes I chose only exerpts of it leaving out the funniest parts so you really have to watch the video to get an idea of how great this song is. But I chose just exerpts of it for a reason. As you may know (if you've been a frequent reader of this blog) that I am gay/lesbian depending on which you prefer to use. Growing up I knew that I was different, but I never really knew how to explain it or that there was a word such as lesbian/gay that described me to a tea. When it finally hit me that I am gay things really began to fall into place for me. So many of the feelings I had had were finally making sense; so naturally things began coming together. The part of the above quote about falling in love foolishly is so great. It really does bring out an element of my life that seems to happen over and over. There are so many people I've found myself attracted to that I simply can't have because they are straight (aka difference in sexuality!) so quite often (in fact most of the time when I do fall in love) I fall in love quite foolishly.

"What you don't know
is that I'd do anything for you
what you don't know is that
I'd do anything for you
Love me love me not
counting petals on the floor
stop being so afraid
to let our love become more
take me take me in
I won't let you down
I'm not running
I'm not leaving today...
Love me love me not
counting petals on the floor
stop being so afraid of letting our love become more
take me take me in
I won't let you down
I'm not running
I'm not leaving
I'm not hiding...
I'm not wanting anybody else today but you
just you" "Love me Love me not"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfjB0y2J5ss&feature=quicklist

This quote contains so much good advice for people at my age. So many people are so afraid of letting their love become more. For me it's something I do have to work at. So often I try to control my love knowing that it's possible that somebody I've fallen in love with might not be gay. I sometimes have to keep myself from running or hiding from who I am and who I have fallen in love with. The very beggining of the quote really gets me. I'd do just about anything for my friends; and I'm sure I'd do just about anything for somebody that I fall in love with and who falls in love with me.
"I've got a hunger burning inside me
can not be denied...
that spark of creation...
spark of creation
is blazing through my blood...
the first inspiration
the spark of creation
I see a mountain
and I want to climb it
I see a river
and I'm utterly sure
where there was nothing
let there be someting
someting made by me
there are things waiting me to invent them...
I am an echo of
let there be a spark of creation
buring bright within me
a spark of creation
won't let me rest at all
until i discover
or build or uncover
a thing I can call my celebration
a spark of creation
a spark of creation
may it burn forever
a spark of creation...
when your burn with a imagination
sooner or later your feeling the fire
get higher and higher
the spark of creation" "Spark of Creation"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vk-da4405o0&feature=quicklist

"...The only demons
are all in my mind
was it his voice
was it his smile
I haven't felt so wonderful in quite a while
all of this time there was just me
maybe he's a preview of how good my life can be
I'm not alone
someones freed me from this lonely tower
someones by my side as I face the unknown
I'm not alone...
I'm not alone anymore
where there was one
now there are two
that's the kind of magic only love can do...
I can move a mountain now with just a single touch
I'm not alone
someones freed me from this lonely tower
someones by my side
as I face the unknown
I'm not alone...
I'm not alone anymore
I keep floating two feet off the ground
I forget my fears when he's around...
somebodys by my side as I face the unknown
I'm not alone...
I'm not alone
anymore" "I'm not Alone"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uedIMUuosnw&feature=quicklist

The above quotes are truley beautiful. The first quote says someting to the extent of wanting to move mountains when you see one...I understand that feeling. During late March 2007, I saw a mountain I wanted to move. That mountain became my two screenplays. I originally wanted to move anyone that might come across or read the first screenplay. It turned out that it moved how I view the world, and I acheived what I wanted. In that same quote there is something about a my celebration. In a way that first screenplay became my celebration of who I have become during the years, and a way of life that so many live, and so many people know so little about.

The second quote really gets me. For me, this would make so much more sense if you changed the word he or his to her or she. In so many ways there have been several people that did what that second quote says...One was Pat Gahn, anouther was Katie from the Loons, a third was Marj from the Loons, and a fourth that did it for me was Alyson from the Loons. In a way Pat freed me from the tower I was living in for so many years, and Marj, Katie, and Alyson has been at my side.

I should be posting anouther post later tonight (after I get this one up and going.) with some other things that I want to blog about, but that I feel belong in a different blog because of some things I want to write about it.