Friday, December 4, 2009

NaNoWriMo novel and other stuff going on in my life

NaNoWriMo Novel:
My nanowrimo novel came out in two parts. Part one was a part that I knew almost exactly would happen since I decided to write this novel near the end of October. The second part was harder to write because it didn't pop into my head until later in the month. Rachel appears in the second part of my nanowrimo novel, which challenged me. The characters in the second part were more difficult to predict, so I spent a lot of time staring at the computer screen trying to figure them out. But I enjoyed writing the second part so much because the characters challanged me in ways I didn't expect. Rachel was one of the characters that got to me. Some of the things she has to go through during her life weren't easy to write because I knew how much those experiences could hurt because I went through a time when I didn't know if those situations were ones I could experience during my life. Naturally that made me not want to hurt her, but in the end I did end up putting her in some tough situations that I don't anyone ever wants to experience. One of my favorite parts to write was one that I am experiencing myself at the moment. I loved writing that part not only because I'm experiencing that situation myself, but also because it's a part of life for everyone who falls in love and is trying to figure out how to tell the person they fell in love how they feel.

My life:
Tonight I have my first piano recital since June 2006 at 6:30PM at the Midland Center for the arts. I feel like I have been working on the two peices I will be playing tonight in front of the rest of my teachers students and their families for a good two months, but one I have been playing for nearly four months, and the other I've only been playing for a month. I am definatly excited for tonight. Thankfully after my first several years of lessons (Febuary 2000 through June 2006), I played in roughly 13 of my piano teachers recitals, played in Keyboardfest five times, and did the piano SAT testing here in town (aka theroy, technique, and preformance testing.), I have become used to playing in front of people even if I don't know them. Exmple: The first year I did the piano SAT testing here in town I was in seventh grade. I was completley prepared for it when I got to the church it is held at, even though I had no idea how it was set up, how the piano I was to play for the preformance aspect would play. I found out upon my arrival with my mom that I was going to have to do my preformance for a judge in the front of the sanctuary. EEEK! That was a scary thought, for that meant the seventh grade me, who had never done this before, was going to have to walk down the isle and past the judge before I reached the piano. Not exactly the best situatin for the tiny seventh grade me who had never done this before, was super nervous about playing for a judge, and was rather shy. So yeah...if you have every played in a competition or played for a judge wether it was for testing (like the piano SAT I went through four times, and yes I did want to do it all four times. I think I rather like putting myself in places where there is a challange.) or for a competition, I think you'll understand the nerves that can accompany playing in front of a judge where it is only you.

I know my piano teacher has quite a few begginer students, and most of her students are younger than me, which of course adds an element that is interusting. Younger kids always look up to those who are older than them. It's true. Just ask the elementary version of myself who looked up to the middle-schoolers who were acolites at church. Little kids ALWAYS look up to people who are older than them, especially when the person they look up to can do something better than they can. I know that the older kids that are playing tonight also look up to people, after all doesn't everybody have someone they look up to for one reason or anouther? One of the things I can remember during my high school years of playing the piano, taking lessons, and playing in recitals, and getting to see a concert pianist play here in Midland with the symphony orchestra in November 2004. What amazed me about that convert was that the concert piansist was only a year older than me (litterally she's something like one year and eleven days older than me!), and she was playing so well. During the Winter 2007 semester here at Delta, I took a class called piano 2. Basically it was a group piano class where we all were supposed to be learning to play the piano. I honestly would have tested into piano three if piano three was offered, so I found the class quite easy. Each class (once a week on Mondays that semester) we had to play a peice we had been given the week before. That first preformance we played in front of the class with everyone listening to you play. When it came my turn, I pretty much knew I was one of the better players in the class, and I had the peice practically memorized it was so easy. So I played. I could sense that people in the class were amazed by how well I was playing. It wasn't that the other people in the room were bad, but it was that I had more playing time from six years of lessons before this class. So yeah. I don't know how people are going to react to what I am playing tonight during the recital, but I do know that I can play both peices well, and will be fine. Although I am also sure that I will eaither make a mistake or won't do something dynamic wise that I won't be happy with. That's just what happens when you play the piano and are playing at the level I am-you get mad at yourself over the tiniest mistakes that nobody else notices because you know you could have done that so much better.

I miss being that little sixth and seventh grader who played the piano so kid-like. When I see a lot of adult players/older piano players and the kid players play one after anouther, it hits me how much fun the kids have, and how little fun the older students tend to have. That's something that I've been having to push myself to do-be more of a kid when I play the piano. What I've found is that the more I enjoy playing, the more I think like a kid would, the better I play and the more fun I have.

Life is too short. Do something fun today.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

November re-run

As you may very well know, I participated in National Novel Writing Month this November. I really wanted to finish with 50000 words or more, and I did. But the thing that amazed me was how much writing that happened during the last eight days of November. I actually wrote 17000 words those last eight days, which averages out to 2125 words a day if I had written every day. But I didn't write every single day those last eight days. During the last Tuesday of November, I spent most of my day in Delta's library in the far back corner on a computer writing about 8000 to 9000 words. I then spent Monday November 30 writing about 8000 words. Most Tuesdays were spent in the back corner of the Delta library between classes writing my heart out, and trying to catch up on my word count since I spent most of the month behind on my word count. On Monday November 30, I crossed the finish line of 50000, validating with the nanowrimo site at 50025 words, even though my word document showed my word count as 50050. I validated at about 3:30 that afternoon, and then headed home via bike with way too much pent up energy from the month of November. After all I spent all of November keeping up with classes, homework, piano lessons, bell rehearsals, bell performances, driving to and from classes, and sitting in front of a computer typing away. And I had drunk a little too much caffine than I should have. So I naturally had some pent up energy to release, so it felt good to head home on bike and use some of the pent up energy. If there is one thing I could suggest to any future nanowrimos, it is that you don't leave the last 8000 words to write until the last day of November, because you are likely to quit like I nearly did in the five minutes before crossing the finish line.

Even though I crossed the finish line of 50000 words, I haven't finished the novel yet. So, I have challanged myself to finish the novel by January first. I don't know if I'll make it, but hey, I didn't know if I'd finish nanowrimo. So I shall let you know if I make the January first deadline.

Past, Future

Somewhere down this road
I know someone's waiting
arms open wide
as they wait for me
to appear

Courage don't desert me now
now that I'm taking one step at a time
I can't turn back now that I'm here
life is full of choices
and no one mentions fear
of how people will react

Somewhere down this world
people will find themselves more accepting
having realized how wrong they were
about causing so much fear
in so many

Back to who I was
and onward
to find the future
on this journey to the past
one step at a time
one foot in front of the other

Somewhere down this road
I know someone's waiting
arms open wide
as they wait for me
to appear

I wont turn back
I can look back and remember
but I can't go back to who I was
who I used to be
too much has changed
and those changes
have changed my life for the better

One step at a time
who knows where this road may go
there are things I still need to know
and I hope this road leads me forward
into the future

Somewhere down this road
I know someone's waiting
arms open wide
as they wait for me
to appear