My nanowrimo novel came out in two parts. Part one was a part that I knew almost exactly would happen since I decided to write this novel near the end of October. The second part was harder to write because it didn't pop into my head until later in the month. Rachel appears in the second part of my nanowrimo novel, which challenged me. The characters in the second part were more difficult to predict, so I spent a lot of time staring at the computer screen trying to figure them out. But I enjoyed writing the second part so much because the characters challanged me in ways I didn't expect. Rachel was one of the characters that got to me. Some of the things she has to go through during her life weren't easy to write because I knew how much those experiences could hurt because I went through a time when I didn't know if those situations were ones I could experience during my life. Naturally that made me not want to hurt her, but in the end I did end up putting her in some tough situations that I don't anyone ever wants to experience. One of my favorite parts to write was one that I am experiencing myself at the moment. I loved writing that part not only because I'm experiencing that situation myself, but also because it's a part of life for everyone who falls in love and is trying to figure out how to tell the person they fell in love how they feel.
Tonight I have my first piano recital since June 2006 at 6:30PM at the Midland Center for the arts. I feel like I have been working on the two peices I will be playing tonight in front of the rest of my teachers students and their families for a good two months, but one I have been playing for nearly four months, and the other I've only been playing for a month. I am definatly excited for tonight. Thankfully after my first several years of lessons (Febuary 2000 through June 2006), I played in roughly 13 of my piano teachers recitals, played in Keyboardfest five times, and did the piano SAT testing here in town (aka theroy, technique, and preformance testing.), I have become used to playing in front of people even if I don't know them. Exmple: The first year I did the piano SAT testing here in town I was in seventh grade. I was completley prepared for it when I got to the church it is held at, even though I had no idea how it was set up, how the piano I was to play for the preformance aspect would play. I found out upon my arrival with my mom that I was going to have to do my preformance for a judge in the front of the sanctuary. EEEK! That was a scary thought, for that meant the seventh grade me, who had never done this before, was going to have to walk down the isle and past the judge before I reached the piano. Not exactly the best situatin for the tiny seventh grade me who had never done this before, was super nervous about playing for a judge, and was rather shy. So yeah...if you have every played in a competition or played for a judge wether it was for testing (like the piano SAT I went through four times, and yes I did want to do it all four times. I think I rather like putting myself in places where there is a challange.) or for a competition, I think you'll understand the nerves that can accompany playing in front of a judge where it is only you.
I know my piano teacher has quite a few begginer students, and most of her students are younger than me, which of course adds an element that is interusting. Younger kids always look up to those who are older than them. It's true. Just ask the elementary version of myself who looked up to the middle-schoolers who were acolites at church. Little kids ALWAYS look up to people who are older than them, especially when the person they look up to can do something better than they can. I know that the older kids that are playing tonight also look up to people, after all doesn't everybody have someone they look up to for one reason or anouther? One of the things I can remember during my high school years of playing the piano, taking lessons, and playing in recitals, and getting to see a concert pianist play here in Midland with the symphony orchestra in November 2004. What amazed me about that convert was that the concert piansist was only a year older than me (litterally she's something like one year and eleven days older than me!), and she was playing so well. During the Winter 2007 semester here at Delta, I took a class called piano 2. Basically it was a group piano class where we all were supposed to be learning to play the piano. I honestly would have tested into piano three if piano three was offered, so I found the class quite easy. Each class (once a week on Mondays that semester) we had to play a peice we had been given the week before. That first preformance we played in front of the class with everyone listening to you play. When it came my turn, I pretty much knew I was one of the better players in the class, and I had the peice practically memorized it was so easy. So I played. I could sense that people in the class were amazed by how well I was playing. It wasn't that the other people in the room were bad, but it was that I had more playing time from six years of lessons before this class. So yeah. I don't know how people are going to react to what I am playing tonight during the recital, but I do know that I can play both peices well, and will be fine. Although I am also sure that I will eaither make a mistake or won't do something dynamic wise that I won't be happy with. That's just what happens when you play the piano and are playing at the level I am-you get mad at yourself over the tiniest mistakes that nobody else notices because you know you could have done that so much better.
I miss being that little sixth and seventh grader who played the piano so kid-like. When I see a lot of adult players/older piano players and the kid players play one after anouther, it hits me how much fun the kids have, and how little fun the older students tend to have. That's something that I've been having to push myself to do-be more of a kid when I play the piano. What I've found is that the more I enjoy playing, the more I think like a kid would, the better I play and the more fun I have.
Life is too short. Do something fun today.