Looking Back

Sometimes I HATE HATE HATE COMPUTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just now, the window I had open with this blog decided it was going to shut itself down without me telling it too. Of course it had to do it when I had anouther video and a whole bunch of other stuff writen into my blog. SO I lost everything except the original post. Sometimes I just want to kill this computer. Sadley for all you readers, that means I had start over, and I wont put some of the details in that I did earlier because Im a little too frusterated with this computer right now.

If you want the lyrics, go find them yourself. Im not gonna put up with copy and pasting them in here, then having to get the spacing right again. The first time I heard this song, I felt such a strong connection to it. Probobly the favorite section of lyrics for me is:

"There's a life
That I am ment to lead
A life like nothing I've ever known
I can feel it
And it's far from home"

I'll just say that since May, I've known what Im gonna do with my life (Im finally figuring it out now after two years of school!!!). Im sure that once I finish the pharmacy tech program, my life will change dramatically, and I'll probobly be living a life nothing like the life Im living now. I keep getting this feeling that I'll be living in a big city, so if I blog one day about to a big city, dont be surprised!

Im sitting downstairs at Delta. It feels weird to be sitting down here again. The last time I sat down here, I finished my first screenplay, and was an emotional wreck. I was happy, excited, and sad. I was happy that I had finally finished it, excited that I could finally send it in, and sad that it was done.

As for the end of the summer--it didnt last long enough. Summer never lasts long enough. Yesterday night on my way home from working the last Loons game of the season, I was happy that the season was finally over, and sad that I probobly wouldnt ever see some of the people I work with again. It's such a weird feeling knowing that I might not ever work anouther seasonal job. Who knows?

Last night was the final game of the season. WOW! It feels like the season just flew by. It was kind of an emotional game for me since it was the final game, and probobly the last time I'll work for the Loons.Last night I wrote the lyrics for a couple songs I had in mind. I'm one of those writers who writes whatever I can hear first. Sometimes its the music first other times the lyrics come first. Here is the first set of lyrics I wrote:

Here I am
again
staring at the wall
again
woundrin where I go from here
what happens
now we're almost done
they took you from me
and put you at lemonaide
so Im standing here alone
woundrin how Ill cope
being so alone
just looking around
it looks so empty
will people see just me
or will they see who they want me to be
all they see is an employee
not a person who is in her last day of her job

Yeah...so that was the first set of lyrics I wrote with a specific melody that I already had written earlier in the summer. Ill share the other song I wrote last night later. During the last SUnday game of the season, I wrote a couple sets of lyrics. Here's the first set:

Is this the end
of who I am
and my life as I knew it
or will my life go on
just as it has for so many years

My life is changing and will never be the same
I wasnt who I was yesterday
and never will again
but life goes on
and life goes onjust as it always has
it will continue onas it has
'till everything changes.

The other set of lyrics from the final sunday game of the season are next. This set doesnt have a backstory...so if you want the backstory the this one, dont ask...there really isnt a story behind it besides being bored out of my mind at work.

Ever believed you'd stare at a wall
woundrin if someone would call
ever believed you'd stare at a wall
and try to find your voice
if you ever find it at all
you stand there alone
starin at the wall
woundring if youll find
where you belong in this world
Staring at the wallwoundring if youd find your voice
just staring at the wall
will you find your voice
in this lifetime
or in this world
as you stare at the wall

Next up are the lyrics for anouther song. The lyrics for this song have a uniqe backstory to them. I'm not sure if Ill share that backstory just yet. I will definatly tell you that I wrote them last night thinking about the people Ive met working for the loons, and the friends Ive made there. If Marj is reading this, she might pick up on at least one reference to someone we worked with at the loons. So here are the lyrics:

Im dreaming of you
we've worked together
we've stayed together
nothing has pulled us apart

Chorus:
Staying together
working together
together for always
loving for always

I miss seeing your face
every other friday
having you around
and seeing your face
was always a pleasure

Chorus
Im dreaming again
dreaming
of seeing you again
of sticking together
forever
looking back
at working together
at staying togetherat nothing pulling us apart

Yeah yeah yeah...I know...you probobly want to know what was going on when I wrote this. Its wild for me to read these again as Im typing them up, mostly because its almost like I knew I was going to dream about something that had happened at the loons during this season, but it was like I was working there again next season. I think Ill come back to these later and maybe Ill tell you the whole backstory then.

WOOO HOO!

Ive only got one loons game left!

"Im walking towards nothing
on this desolate road
Im searching for comfort
a place to call my own
Im scared of where Im heading...
when will I find the answers to the questions in my mind...
all I ever wanted
has sunk in the unknown...
if my life was different
if it was something i could change
I take that....
and turn it into strength...
if I own today"

from Scott Alan's song "If I Own Today"

8/27/08

Below is a note I wrote originally for a note on facebook. It was written and posted on August 25 2008. I thought I would post it here too, just in case people that read this blog dont read my notes on facebook. Its hard to tell who reads my blogs here and my notes on facebook, so if you read both you might see some repeated blogs/notes. As for whats going on in my life, things are about to gear up with my bell choir starting rehersals soon, and school starting the day after labor day.

It's been a while since I wrote a note on here...I guess thats just what happens when you get a blog that you tend to write on more. My parents left this morning at about 10 with my brother to drop him off at Western and move him into his dorm, leaving me at home. Im definatly enjoying the quiet right now. I've been watching a few original songs that people have written on youtube, and got inspired to write my own. Just dont expect me to sing it anytime soon. I thought I would share the lyrics with you in this note. I thought I would title it "It's a New Day after all".

Open your eyes sleepy head
Roll out of bed
stare out the window
its a new day after all

Here I am
Here I am again
staring out this window
the only change today
is what Im thinkin

Who am I
and what am I doin here
I've been wandering all these years
and I've finally found where I want to be

So I'll roll out of bed
rub those sleepy eyes of mine
look out the window
and run out the door
its time to great the new day
and a new dream
that is so close to comin true



There isn't a long backstory to this one like there is for some of the songs I've written over the past 2-3 years. It started off with something I heard a celebrity say recently. THey said that when they wake up in the morning, they think "Great! Anouther day!". Who knows...today could be our last day here on Earth, so I might as well apreatiate it. The third stanza sums up the past year and a half of my life. FOr quite a while I was really questioning what I was doing in Midland, and what I was doing with my life, hence the number of times Ive changed my major. Its been during this summer that I finally found what I want to do, and where I want to be.

8/25/08

Monday of the family reunion-
SOme Tubing and skiing happend with those of us that were left, along with going out for dinner, doing the wash, and mini golfing.

2007 themed pirates below:

2008 family reunion:

Those were just some of the pictures that were taken...

What else is going on in my world??? Not a whole lot...lets just say its almost time for school to start.