9/15/09 update

I thought I'd share something here that I am about to share on my other blog (www.thatgirliknew.blogspot.com), with a part of the story behind how this came about.

I can't wait to see you
can't wait to hear your voice
or feel your presence next to me
and I've learned the most from watching you
more from you
than from the teacher I'm with
I know the theory
I know the kids
and I've found myself thinking
that someday I want to be in your shoes
I want to be the owner
I want to do the hiring
but most of all
I want to be a director
you've been teaching me-
without even realizing it-
what I need to know to be the director
that I am
so I'll follow my teacher's lead
I'll take everything in
and in the end
I'll begin to plan my future

In my other blog, there will be more as to the project that I am working on that this will be apart of. But now for the true story behind this. I've been spending so much more time with two year olds now that I am going with the child development program at school. In the process of that I've meet quite a few people that work at child care centers, or are directors of child care centers. The thing I kept finding was that the more time I spent in these child care settings was that I might start my own child care center after I finish this program. There have been two people that really have gotton to me (Karen and Marla). Karen is the director of one child care center that I really liked, and am hoping to eventually get a job at after I finish this program. Marla is someone I work with in my church's nursery, and has been great...she got me going with teaching two-year-old sunday school (who knew it woould take so much work to plan for two year old sunday school???).

I'm back

I should be doing regular Tuesday posts starting today and going through mid-December. Which will be nice to get into a routine of blogging again.

The Loons (http://www.loons.com) made it into the playoffs (YAY!). So, come to the first playoff game at home on Wensday August 9 at 7:05 pm (doors open at 6 pm), tickets are available and start at seven dollars. Hopefully they'll do well in the playoffs. School starts today for me (WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SUMMER?).

I've been working on writing a musical (go to my other blog for more on this at http://www.thatgirliknew.blogspot.com). Here's the short update--lyrics are done, and music is coming along slowley, but that's okay. I'm about to go and do a longer update post on the details for the musical on the blog I mentioned earlier in this paragraph, but only after I've finished this post. A big thing I'm considering doing is a sort of concert of the music from the musical with a few different voices when I get the music written so I can get a feel for how it will sound, and also get feedback from vocalists and from possible viewers of the show. I'd like to hear what people think of this idea--so if you've seen something like this idea, leave me a comment here or e-mail at MNNVmidland@yahoo.com with your comments about how concerts like this have gone (did they work or not?).

I don't know which part is harder...not knowing where you'll be tomarrow, today, next week, or not knowing when you're coming home. I miss you're smile... Wrote Jennifer in her letter to Kathrine while Kathrine was deployed in Iraq. After everything Jennifer had been through, it was the hardest thing that she had to do. After Coreen's death, Jennifer wasn't sure of how to get up in the morning without remembering how much she missed her first wife. When Kathrine and Jennifer had married, Jennifer was so glad to love and be loved again. But she didn't know how she would handle it when Kathrine was on patrol as one of Midland's police officers. But that fear, the fear of loosing to an out of control driver, was something of the past. Now that Kathrine was gone in Iraq, Jennifer was constantly scared...what if she got injured, what if she died, what if she never came back? There were so many questions, and nobody could answer them for Jennifer.

Sunday afternoon baseball

Yesterday afternoon was one of the Loons last Sunday afternoon home games, which turned out to be both a shut-out and one hot game. The Loon's not only had two home runs, but also shut out the Whitecaps with a score of 6 to 0. As for the heat-I would never suggest going to a baseball game when it is 90 degrees and humid out.

The weather truly stunk for those of us who were working. As usual I was at the hand dipped ice cream stand, which was undoubtedly busy. People wanted anything to cool off with. That off course meant water, ice cream, pop, and beer. I was just thankful that most people only wanted a cone, and not banana splits, hot fudge brownies, or sundaes. This stroke of luck speed (sp?) up the line considerably. Thankfully I had brought several bottles of water, so I didn't overheat, or end up dehydrated.

I hope I never have to work in 90 degree humid weather again!

I honestly don't know how many people know about the Great Lakes Loons, so I might as well share some info on them. The Great Lakes Loons are a single A affiliate for the Dodgers based in Midland, MI and are currently in their third season. The Michigan Baseball Foundation (MBF) in very much apart of the Loon's operations, and donates quite a bit of money to local organizations. Then there is Professional Sports Catering or PSC, which does all the food service at Dow Diamond. I know that if you go to http://www.loons.com you can buy tickets to games, see the season schedule, apply for jobs, view upcoming promotions, and quite a few other things. I suggest going to www.loons.com for more information.

Love

"I've waited for the right time
that faight would be on my side...
falling in love
so foolishly
I'm tired of waiting...
just take the first step...
my simple request
and feight will seal the rest." "My Simple Request"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKMvIzLuwoA&feature=quicklist

This song is brilliantly written...and yes I chose only exerpts of it leaving out the funniest parts so you really have to watch the video to get an idea of how great this song is. But I chose just exerpts of it for a reason. As you may know (if you've been a frequent reader of this blog) that I am gay/lesbian depending on which you prefer to use. Growing up I knew that I was different, but I never really knew how to explain it or that there was a word such as lesbian/gay that described me to a tea. When it finally hit me that I am gay things really began to fall into place for me. So many of the feelings I had had were finally making sense; so naturally things began coming together. The part of the above quote about falling in love foolishly is so great. It really does bring out an element of my life that seems to happen over and over. There are so many people I've found myself attracted to that I simply can't have because they are straight (aka difference in sexuality!) so quite often (in fact most of the time when I do fall in love) I fall in love quite foolishly.

"What you don't know
is that I'd do anything for you
what you don't know is that
I'd do anything for you
Love me love me not
counting petals on the floor
stop being so afraid
to let our love become more
take me take me in
I won't let you down
I'm not running
I'm not leaving today...
Love me love me not
counting petals on the floor
stop being so afraid of letting our love become more
take me take me in
I won't let you down
I'm not running
I'm not leaving
I'm not hiding...
I'm not wanting anybody else today but you
just you" "Love me Love me not"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfjB0y2J5ss&feature=quicklist

This quote contains so much good advice for people at my age. So many people are so afraid of letting their love become more. For me it's something I do have to work at. So often I try to control my love knowing that it's possible that somebody I've fallen in love with might not be gay. I sometimes have to keep myself from running or hiding from who I am and who I have fallen in love with. The very beggining of the quote really gets me. I'd do just about anything for my friends; and I'm sure I'd do just about anything for somebody that I fall in love with and who falls in love with me.

"I've got a hunger burning inside me
can not be denied...
that spark of creation...
spark of creation
is blazing through my blood...
the first inspiration
the spark of creation
I see a mountain
and I want to climb it
I see a river
and I'm utterly sure
where there was nothing
let there be someting
someting made by me
there are things waiting me to invent them...
I am an echo of
let there be a spark of creation
buring bright within me
a spark of creation
won't let me rest at all
until i discover
or build or uncover
a thing I can call my celebration
a spark of creation
a spark of creation
may it burn forever
a spark of creation...
when your burn with a imagination
sooner or later your feeling the fire
get higher and higher
the spark of creation" "Spark of Creation"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vk-da4405o0&feature=quicklist

"...The only demons
are all in my mind
was it his voice
was it his smile
I haven't felt so wonderful in quite a while
all of this time there was just me
maybe he's a preview of how good my life can be
I'm not alone
someones freed me from this lonely tower
someones by my side as I face the unknown
I'm not alone...
I'm not alone anymore
where there was one
now there are two
that's the kind of magic only love can do...
I can move a mountain now with just a single touch
I'm not alone
someones freed me from this lonely tower
someones by my side
as I face the unknown
I'm not alone...
I'm not alone anymore
I keep floating two feet off the ground
I forget my fears when he's around...
somebodys by my side as I face the unknown
I'm not alone...
I'm not alone
anymore" "I'm not Alone"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uedIMUuosnw&feature=quicklist

The above quotes are truley beautiful. The first quote says someting to the extent of wanting to move mountains when you see one...I understand that feeling. During late March 2007, I saw a mountain I wanted to move. That mountain became my two screenplays. I originally wanted to move anyone that might come across or read the first screenplay. It turned out that it moved how I view the world, and I acheived what I wanted. In that same quote there is something about a my celebration. In a way that first screenplay became my celebration of who I have become during the years, and a way of life that so many live, and so many people know so little about.

The second quote really gets me. For me, this would make so much more sense if you changed the word he or his to her or she. In so many ways there have been several people that did what that second quote says...One was Pat Gahn, anouther was Katie from the Loons, a third was Marj from the Loons, and a fourth that did it for me was Alyson from the Loons. In a way Pat freed me from the tower I was living in for so many years, and Marj, Katie, and Alyson has been at my side.

I should be posting anouther post later tonight (after I get this one up and going.) with some other things that I want to blog about, but that I feel belong in a different blog because of some things I want to write about it.

part two

Yesterday I posted a short peice of something I had the idea for at work. Today I will post more of it, and once again a peice of it is based off of an idea I had at work yesterday, and a second peice of it based off of something I thought of tonight at work. Here I go!

Alyson isn't just a friend of Julia's, but also an arranger that helped Julia so much on her first solo album. It was that first solo album that Julia was doing a tour for now. As Julia got warmed up at that beat up grand piano on a stage in Midland, Michigan, Alyson scooted past Julia; and their eyes caught the others eyes. Alyson raised her eyebrows, and Julia couldn't help but smile. There was a mutual understanding in that raise of the eyebrows saying how chaotic things were, and yet how soothing it was to go through this routine of warming up and setting up with this touring band. Julia was wishing she could tell Alyson how much she loved her, and Alyson wished she could tell the world what she believed in and how wrong they were about who she is. Minutes passed, and they were ready for the concert. As they stood backstage, Alyson and Julia stood side by side silently. Alyson puts her hand on Julia's shoulder.

"You'll be fine." whispers Alyson

"I love you." replies Julia in a whisper.

Their eyes reconnect, and Julia walks out onto the stage to begin the show.

"Wow..." whispers Alyson to herself in surprise, "I never knew..."

The concert would be a hit amoungst the attendees. As everyone was standing, streching and walking out of the auditorium at the end of the show, no one realized what was about to happen backstage. The moment the final encore was over, Julia headed backstage to change into jeans and a T-Shirt as to be more comfortable on her way to the hotel. It was in the dressing room that Alyson awaitted Julia's arrival.

"Hey Alyson." says Julia

"Hey." replies Alyson, "You did great!"

"Thanks."

"I love you too."