Review of day three at camp

Day three at camp was a blast!

It was rather hot out, and that was fine. Don't ask me why, but I brought the TV, DVD player, and the rental place along. So last night we rented "The Kings Speech", and watched that before shooting off a few fireworks. Naturally that meant no time to do any writing from about 8:00 until a little after eleven when I joined in with the word sprints on twitter.

Here are some of the other highlights of yesterdays day at camp:

• Listening to little kids laugh as they rode their bikes up and down the street while I wrote
• having steak for dinner in the back yard
• listening to the local minor league baseball team play on the radio for half an hour
• getting about 200 words away from the 10000 word mark

Day 2 at camp recap

Yesterday (June 3) was day two at campnanowrimo. Boy was it fun! I've been enjoying camp quite a bit this year. The following is a recap of some of the events of yesterday.

• I wrote over 3000 words by hand, then typed them up during the middle of a rather hot day.
• I went down to the river to watch the Bay City fireworks. For a good hour, I sat on the hill by the river writing several hundred words that yet have to be typed up, and filled the first notebook for this novel.
• I stayed up a little to late watching youtube videos as I tried to inspire myself to start a second notebook for this novel.
• In the end I fell asleep a little too late, and woke up a little too early.

Review of day one at camp

Yesterday was day one at camp. I sure had fun! So here's a recap of events.

I spent the morning writing the beggining of the novel I am writing for camp by hand, then typed up the first 3500 words or so, and updated my word count.

It was rather hot out, which called for lots of water, and a mikes hard lemonaid for dinner with my brat and corn on the cob.

Sleeping didn't come easy thanks to the fact that it was hard to keep cool when the temprature was in the upper eighties and we have no air conditioning at camp.

During the day, I spent part of my time writing near the lake (aka the neighbors pool) listing to people scream and splash around. What a fun sound to hear and inspire me to write a novel!

Around the camp fire, I had a lot of fun singing a variety of songs, mostly from Shrek the musical. I also pulled out my battery powered radio (aka my radio plugged into the wall in my room) and listened to Midland's minor leauge baseball team (www.loons.com) play a game that they won while I wrote by hand once again.

Camp

Do you remember going to camp as a kid? What do you remember the most about camp?

In middle school I went to confirmation camp with my church. I remember both years I went vividly. And I have lots of memories from both years.

The first year I went, I didn't know anyone that was going. So I was a bit nervous. Thankfully I met a few people and made a few friends during the week. One of the counselors that worked there both years that I went I didn't see for years after I went. But then in the last year the two of us ran into each other at church again. It was amazing how much she had changed, and I'm sure that I changed a lot too. Probably the memory that has stuck with me the most from that first year at confirmation camp is that of my first day there, and how I got lost as I tried to make my way back from the lake front and my swimming test that everyone took to the cabin I was in.

My second year at confirmation camp, I went with a bunch of people that I knew well from church. I still made a bunch of new friends. This time I have some hilarious memories from the canoe trip that I went on with a few new friends. Neither of them had canoed before, and both were afraid of spiders. Naturally I was the one in the back steering (and also the shortest of the three of us), and the one stuck killing and removing all spiders that got into the canoe. Hearing those two girls screaming about spiders was hilarious. I also have great memories of doing crafts both years.

This year, I am experiencing a first when it comes to camp.

It's my first campnanowrimo, and the first campnanowrimo ever. How exciting!

Right now it is 11:20pm on June 30 in Michigan, where I am currently living. Campnanowrimo begins at midnight on July 1. I have been planning on staying up past midnight to get some writing on my July novel done before getting some good sleep and continuing on with the novel tomorrow during the day when I'll be more awake.

Loosing track, beggining new project, life is good

I sure have lost track of time when it comes to getting posts put up! I'm sorry for not posting for so long, but I've had a lot of stuff go on in my life. My lfe has been going well. And I have some great news to share with anybody that reads regularly, or might just happen to stumble across my blog and see this post.

I've got a huge project that I have begun. I am in the process of getting funding set up, finding actors and actresses, and writing the soundtrack for a small budget movie that I am going to film in Midland, MI. I started looking for funding, and actors on this past Saturday.

I am still looking for funding and actors. If you are interusted in throwing some money into a film that is coming of age story, the story of a young woman on a journey towards a career as a concert pianist, and a story of how many obsticles that life can throw at a person please e-mail me at homethemovie@ymail.com with the subject line of Home funding.

If you would like a role in this movie, large or small, please e-mail me at homethemovie@ymail.com with the subject line of home audition and with a photo (preferablly a head shot), and any experience/your resume.

What a weird dream

Last night I had a weird dream. It wasn't just weird. It was also creepy. I'll put my comments in the middle of the dream in italics so that it's easy to make sense of. So here's what the dream was:

For some reason my Mom was no longer in the picture, and my dad and mom were no longer married, which is somthing that I can't see happening in real life anytime soon. And for some odd reason my dad had asked me to marry him, and I said yes. (why the hell does anybody want to marry their father???) There were a bunch of our family friends and my personal friends at the wedding. For whatever reason I really didn't want to marry my dad, but I said yes in hopes that then one of my friends would remember that this was my dad, and marrying your dad is a bit messed up and something I wouldn't do under normal circumstances. It was just creepy that I was dreaming about marrying my dad... After the wedding was over, my dad and I were greeting our guests, and my friends kept on saying that they never expected this from me, and that they were so proud of the fact that I had found someone. Finally I ended up shouting at the top of my lungs that I was a lesbian, that it was my dad I had just married and what was everyone thinking allowing this to happen, and that if I hadn't married him that my dad would have killed me.


Geez. I never thought I would have a dream quite so creepy....I sure hope I never have that dream again. Have you ever had any creepy dreams?

What a day...I just need to rant.

It's ash Wensday. And it's been a crappy day. I just need a place to rant about whats been going on today that's been so crappy. So where do I start?

I was gone quite a bit of the day today at a local elementary school. And that was okay. At least until the kids started to get on my nerves. On the way home my brother, who came to pick me up, got on my case about how I didn't seem to be in a good mood. The problem was my brother doesn't get that when I get done at the elementary school, I'm worn out, tired, and just want some peace and quiet which he was not wanting to give me today. Then, when I walked into the house, my dad who is home on spring break got on my case. I guess someone from Western Michigan called about my application. My dad was on my case because of a whole host of reasons, so let me begin with some background.

When I first graduated from high school, I started taking classes at a local community college that fall. At the time I thought I was going to go into nursing. And part of me believed that. But anouther part, a bigger part, of me didn't want to and was only taking the classes I was because I felt like it was what my parents wanted me to do. And so I did pretty badley in some of those classes. I did eventually finish the pharmacy technician certificate that the school has. But I haven't actually taken the certification exam.

Fast forward to today. My dad got on my case when I got home. He wanted to know why I haven't been studying for the certification exam. He wanted to know how I planned to pay to go to Western Michigan if I get accepted and decide to go. He told me that if I did decide to go he wouldn't help pay for any of it until I proved that I was going to do well in the classes I take, if I go. That last part about not wanting to help pay for my schooling unless I prove that I'm going to do well in the classes makes sense. And I was prepared for that. I had done a lot of thinking about it. And I'm willing to apply for scholarships, and take out a loan if nessesary. The problem is my dad doesn't like the idea of me having to take out a loan. Hello?????? My parents both had loans when they went to college, so why is it such a big deal if I take one out so that I can go to school at the school of my choice to major in what I want to major in???? And as for the pharmacy technician certification exam...I don't think that's where I belong. It's not something I want to do forever, and it's not something I really am that interusted in doing. So I don't get why my dad is freaking out and getting on my case about all of this stuff.

Has anybody else ever experienced something like this???? Please tell me that someone has.

Back to the ranting about stuff going on in my life. During the fall of 2008, my parents made me get some counsling. And at that time, I really wasn't willing to put in ANY effort at all, so it didn't help any. So eventually I quit. And my parents weren't mad at me because they understood that I wasn't getting anything out of it because I wasn't willing to put any effort into it. And so until late January 2010 things were even rougher between my parents and I. Part of that was because of who I am, who I was at the time, and a whole host of issues that I just wasn't ready to cope with. And anouther part of it was the way my parents saw me, what my parents wanted to me, and the disconnect between my parents and I. During the fall of 2009 a lot of shit happened, and it set of this whole dispute between my parents and I. And so my parents and I went to talk to the family doctor to try to figure out a way to get things going on the right track between my parents and I. By that point I was ready to put some effort into things, but I also needed someone that would be able to help bridge the disconnect between my parents and I.

And so we found a psychologist in the area that was willing to take me. This time I wasn't so freaked out about going to counsling/therapy because I had an idea of what to expect. The first time there, my parents came with me, and the three of us taked with my therapist so that she would have an idea of where all three of us were coming from. And so the work on my part began. It was that first time with my therapist, who I still go to see once a week, that she pointed out that I do have issues with anxiety, and that the anxiety was part of what was causing some of the issues on my end. And at that time I really had no way to cope with anxiety because I had no real idea that that was what I was feeling. And so that firrst month or so was spent working through the anxiety. Thankfully I now know what tends to make me more anxious, and I know a few different ways to cope with it that work brilliantly for me.

Part of what set me off today was the fact that my dad doesn't seem to realize that I'm not just working through the issues that I have that my parents want to have resolved so we can have a better relationship, but that I am also working through what I want to do with MY life, and how to get to where I want to be. And so that gets really frusterating to me because my parents don't realize that I know that they want me to do well and be happy, and that my parents aren't willing to do everything for me, but that I also need them to understand that what I'm doing to make something of my life is more up to me than it is to them. And I've got all this pent up frustration with my parents that I haven't been able to let out for so many years because I didn't ever really realize that I was frusterated with them because they didn't care enough to pay attention to what I was actually saying through my words and actions. Thankfully my therapist is very supportive of me, and is able to make sense of what I'm wanting out of life. What I don't think my parents really realize is that my applying to Western Michigan has happened because my therapist has helped me to start making those small steps towards doing something with my life that I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE, NOT WHAT MY PARENTS WANT ME TO DO WITH MY LIFE.

My parents don't get that I WANT to go into music therapy because I BELIVE that it's something that I would enjoy and that it is something that I AM WILLING to put some effort into. My mom recently told me that it would take a lot of work to major in music therapy if I decide to do that. AS IF I DON'T ALREADY KNOW THAT!!!! Do my parents not get that I'm willing to put in effort when I find something I want to do?????

My parents don't seem to understand that they are basically trying to controll my life so much that it's putting me in a position that makes me look bad to their friends when I decide to do something that don't want me to do even if what I want to do has a perfectly legitimate reason behind it. Recently my parents got on my case because I was spending 150 dollars on month on food and gas. My parents freaked out about it because they thought I was spending too much. So they went screaming to my therapist saying that I had been spending way to much when I don't have a job. Yes, I know I don't have a job. But how the hell do you expect to to survive if I can't get around and can't eat what I want to eat? My therapist understood where I was coming from, and understood my frustration. She also couldn't believe that I was basically eatting and getting from place to place on so little. If you do the math, I was basically living on five dollars a day, which isn't easy. So why did my parents freak out? I don't really know why.